Revisiting for some reflection

I need a space where I can discuss how I feel about this world, this world with limitless meanings and interpretations. I understand that I am not a disciplined blogger, well that must be clear from the long gap between this post and the last. Nevertheless, I will keep this blog, come back and write about my feelings and my thoughts.

I am away from Kabul for some time now, this is happening after a long time. I have been based in Kabul for the last nine years, busy with work, studies and life – life and all its complications and simple pleasures and painful episodes.

I miss Afghanistan a great deal these days; this must look like a crazy and incomprehensive statement for some. Afghanistan is associated with suffering; especially the recent spike in insecurity, death and destruction has brought home the feeling of fear and terror. Some of my friends here really do not understand how can I long for Afghanistan with all the disappointing and horrible news coming out of there?

But Afghanistan is home and home is always missed. I am not only missing home I am feeling very hopeless and disappointed at what is happening in Afghanistan. Looking at the situation unfolding from the security of West, I feel an unease that I never felt inside Afghanistan.
Why am I so hopeless about the future of my country? Is this the effect of watching and listening to biased western media? Am I fed up with the leadership in Afghanistan for their utter failure to improve? They are failing in so many areas that simply mentioning them here would require plenty of space. I am lost, my thoughts are scattered and I have no sense of direction.

I must say this note looks very depressing, but isn’t the situation so very depressing? What is the solution to the current madness? I am lost and do not have any answer to these thoughts. Hopefully this will not continue for much and there will be a new dawn – a new day and a new beginning. Is this realistic? I am not sure but I am keeping the hope alive, not giving up on the hope for a better future for my country.


Not giving up, still not giving up!